your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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