Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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