i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
