Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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