I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
