"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she pinky promised me she was 18
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
