I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
