So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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