It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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