His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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