I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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