its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
