The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
