I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
