My liver just broke up with me...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
