His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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