I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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