"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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