: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
