At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
