We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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