she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
