I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
