It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
