Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am one with the molecules
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
