New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
