I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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