Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
