I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
