Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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