obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
