Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
