I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
