I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
