If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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