nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
