i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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