I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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