i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
