I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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