You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
