Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
