xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
