She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
