okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
