Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
