Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
