i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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