Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
