matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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