Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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