Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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